Is there one? I’m not sure. Does it matter? What do I want out of this life? What do you want? Collectively what do we want?
To fly, to be free. To seek out that fuzzy, tingly alive feeling that I get sometimes when I am engaged with the moment. Passion, truth, authentic self, light and love. Those things. That is what I want. When you have that amazing connection for just a moment with someone you just met, when you share a divine connection. When your moment becomes theirs. When you know your truth. When you know with certainty that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Just moments. When I close my eyes and kiss his soft bristly face and feel his lips on mine. Or when laying in bed with their little noses up against mine and run my fingers across their soft perfect cheeks or their beautiful little eyelashes. Or a gaze held with divine eyes during a completely honest vulnerable moment. When my mind wanders to things I want to write or images I want to create. When I get to sit and allow all of the words to spill from my fingers. Or an image that has been in my head for months slowly comes into focus in my reality. All of those moments.
Our point of power and freedom is exactly now in this moment. That is what I want. To release all of the daily banal moments of every day existence. But they will always be there, the dishes, the traffic into work, the bills, reports to write, ladders to climb, money to be made………. Money. Sometimes I truly believe that it is what makes the world go around. Well it is. Without it we can’t do anything, or can we?
Can you be free if you feel money is what makes the world go round, in a global sense I think it does. But does that mean we are forever tethered to this notion of worth and financial value? Is that all we will ever be?
But all of those beautiful little details that we sometimes overlook, all of the teeny tiny little things that fill our world, all of the micro things in this life that make it beautiful and bearable, are the things that make our life continue and flow. Light and Love. The capacity to see all that is beautiful in the now and hold it in awe and love. Those are the things that lubricate the grind, that keep it all moving, love of this world and the people and things within it underpin all of our experiences and moments. Love. This world is amazing. My fingers and eyelashes are amazing. When you deconstruct the basic banal functions we do every day they are amazing. They are beautiful. When you see them with love they transcend all that is boring and painful and stressful and ugly.
Like the dishes, which I loath. LOATH. I can not bear them. Seriously now, I have pictures to make and writings to write, I do not want to do the fucking dishes. I have to stop. I think I am making life harder than it needs to be. Dishes. A sink full of water. What an amazing beautiful thing. I know it sounds silly, but just go with me here…
There is a tap, that I turn on, that fills my sink with hot water to wash my dishes. Water, where does it come from? It travels through all of the pipes in our house. Pipes connected to the mains water, that everyone else in our street and suburb is also connected to. All of us. Connected. Those pipes are connected to a body of water, a reservoir that is full of life and rain. Rain. Water captured and held there, to travel through a network of amazing, built by human hands, cylindrical forms. To come all the way to my home and to yours to be heated so I can wash my dishes. What a precious thing. What a beautiful thing. There is nothing banal about any of it. How precious is our water, I often forget and take so much of it all for granted. How precious and amazing are all of those beautiful little details. Truly. Amazing.
Tomorrow I will curse the traffic and my bad hair day, and worry about how I am going to pay for all the things I need to, and lament that I am not thinny (yes I know that’s not a word) and worry that the kids are ok this week and be pissed when they come home with their heads full of shit and wish life could sometimes be different, and that I had the circumstance to whisk B and I off the New York……. But then I just have to stop. Stop. Be still, be still and know. That life is created as it. And know that I am where I am supposed to be, remind myself that I am here because there is something about this moment that I am supposed to learn. I have to catch my self, and deconstruct this moment while I am completely present, what can I hear? What can I see? What can I feel? How amazing is this moment and it all dissolves…….. It all dissolves and it will all be ok.
I have no answers, all I know is that I want more of those moments, to feel engaged with the present, to seek that out. To fly. To remind my self to transcend those things that vex me. I truly believe that we are all exactly where we are supposed to be. I am here, you are there because there is something you need to take away from this to evolve and be your best self. I don’t think purpose matters, in a conceptual sense, you don’t need a ‘concept’ of who or what you are ‘supposed’ to be, you just need to be. You just need to be, here, right now, with me, nothing else exists outside of this moment. Just you and I. And here lies your power and your freedom. And mine.
For all of those beautiful moments and details that make this life bearable, for his beautiful nose, the texture of his skin and perfectly delicate eyelashes. Moments and detailsmodel, make up and dress ups- Leo
photography & post production- editing- Aj